Ambien. No doubt about it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
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It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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