we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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