Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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