I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
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He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
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I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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