we're blogging at a bar
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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