I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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