I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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