dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
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Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
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It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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