I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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