I got chris browned last night
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize