alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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