The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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