If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize