I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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