Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
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