90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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