Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize