I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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