I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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