I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize