New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize