Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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