Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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