No stitches, just platelets and will power
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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