based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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