i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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