i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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