My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
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