Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize