Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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