The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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