We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
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i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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