I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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