tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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