i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
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I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
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He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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