You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Someone signed my nipple.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize