I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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