O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
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I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
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I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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