Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize