Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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