Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
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I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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