Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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