Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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