i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
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you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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