This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
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Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
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It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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