Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize