Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize