I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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