If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
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