i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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